Good Vibes Only? Let’s talk about it | episode 02
Good Vibes Only? Hold on a second…
You’ve probably seen it on a throw pillow, a neon sign, or splashed across an Instagram caption: Good Vibes Only. At first glance, it seems harmless—who wouldn’t want good vibes? Who wouldn’t want to focus on the positive?
But the more I saw it, the more it made me cringe. And one day, I finally understood why.
"Good vibes only" is very well-intentioned, I will say that, but it’s also dismissive. It tells people that only their happy, light, and carefree emotions are welcome.
But what about grief? Anger? Frustration? Stress?
Life isn’t only good vibes, and pretending otherwise isn’t just unrealistic—it’s harmful.
In this episode of a life differently, I unpack the toxic side of this phrase and why true growth, healing, and authenticity require embracing all of our emotions—not just the feel-good ones.
Why "Good Vibes Only" Can Be Toxic Positivity in Disguise
We’ve been conditioned to believe that being positive means avoiding negative emotions. But real positivity—the kind that fosters growth and resilience—isn’t about ignoring discomfort. It’s about learning to sit with all emotions, even the messy ones.
When we say good vibes only, we create a space where:
Hard emotions are dismissed instead of processed.
People feel like they need to suppress their struggles.
Accountability is avoided because bringing up real issues isn’t “good vibes.”
For communities of color, this message often reinforces what we already grew up with: keep pushing, don’t let things get to you, bury the hard stuff, and move on. But we don’t actually let it go—we carry it in our bodies, in our minds, and in our spirits. Over time, that weight adds up.
Emotions Are Energy in Motion—And They Need to Move
I love how Shirin Eskandani from Wholehearted Coaching puts it: emotions are energy in motion. When we suppress them, they don’t disappear. They get stuck. And until we acknowledge them, process them, and allow them to move through us, they linger.
I once read (and later fact-checked) that emotions reach their peak in about 90 seconds. That means if we allow ourselves to fully feel an emotion, it only takes a minute and a half before it starts to shift.
But instead of sitting with our emotions for those 90 seconds, we often:
Distract ourselves
Push them down
Tell ourselves to “just think positive”
This isn’t about wallowing. It’s about allowing. Because when we ignore emotions, they don’t just go away—they build up and come out in other ways: stress, anxiety, physical symptoms, or even burnout.
So, What’s the Alternative to "Good Vibes Only"?
Instead of shutting down uncomfortable feelings, we need to create space for real vibes. Because real life isn’t always sunshine and sparkles—it’s a mix of joy, pain, growth, and everything in between.
Some alternative ways to approach this mindset shift:
Whole vibes welcome → Making space for all emotions, not just the easy ones.
Real vibes only → Honoring the full spectrum of our feelings.
Positive doesn’t mean perfect → Emphasizing balance over forced optimism.
A Challenge: Sit with Your Emotions for 90 Seconds
If you’re used to brushing past emotions or telling yourself to "just stay positive," try this: the next time you feel anxious, sad, or frustrated, pause. Name the feeling. Notice where you feel it in your body. Then, set a timer for 90 seconds and allow yourself to feel it without distraction.
See what happens. Does it shift? Does it soften? Does it feel a little less scary than before?
Growth doesn’t come from avoiding hard emotions. It comes from making space for them.
💬 Let’s Talk About It
Have you ever been hit with a good vibes only at the worst possible moment? Have you ever caught yourself using toxic positivity without realizing it? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Let’s keep this conversation going:
DM me on Instagram: @alifedifferently
Share your own experience and tag me
Good vibes? Absolutely. But only good vibes? No thanks.
Hey there, I’m Ronni
I help people unlearn, heal, and step into a life that’s actually theirs. Around here, we question the rules, embrace the magic, and just see what happens.
When I’m not talking manifestation, you’ll find me lost in a new oracle deck, junk journaling, crocheting, or crafting miniatures for my dollhouse.