Core Values: The Inner Fire that Keeps You Going with Vanessa “Nane” Marquez | episode 03
Core values shape how we move through the world, influencing our decisions, behaviors, and how we navigate adversity. But what happens when we feel disconnected from them? How do we define and live by our core values in a way that truly reflects who we are?
In this conversation with Coach Vanessa “Nane” Marquez, a life coach specializing in authenticity, self-exploration, and values-driven living, we explore the deeply personal process of defining core values, how they evolve over time, and why they are essential—especially for people of the global majority and those navigating systemic challenges.
Why Core Values Matter Now More Than Ever
Core values aren’t just corporate buzzwords—they’re the internal compass guiding us through life’s uncertainties. They help us reclaim agency and navigate the tension between personal desires and societal expectations.
For marginalized communities, defining core values becomes even more crucial. As Coach Nane explains, knowing your values can serve as an anchor during turbulent times, particularly in a world that often challenges our sense of belonging and self-worth.
“Knowing your core values doesn’t mean you have to live this boss-girl, Instagram-perfect life. Sometimes, it’s just about knowing what keeps you feeling like you.” — Coach Nane
How to Define Your Core Values (Beyond the Generic Lists)
Many times we struggle with defining our core values because they’re often presented as one-size-fits-all concepts. But as Coach Nane explains, values are deeply personal, and their meanings can vary drastically from person to person.
Instead of choosing from a predetermined list, try this exploratory approach:
Reflect on Peak Moments – Think about a time when you felt unstoppable, fully aligned, and thriving. What was happening? What emotions were present?
Identify the Opposite – Consider a time when you felt out of alignment, disconnected, or unfulfilled. What was missing?
Find the Patterns – Compare the two experiences. What elements were consistent when you felt your best? What patterns emerge from what was missing?
Refine the Language – Choose words that resonate deeply. If a word like "authenticity" feels too broad, personalize it. For Coach Nane, authenticity became simply "Nane"—a value that meant being unapologetically herself.
Core Values in Action: Navigating Life's Challenges
Values become even more important in difficult times. Following the 2024 elections, Coach Nane described feeling exhausted and anxious, yet she chose to show up for this conversation because it aligned with her core values of passion, authenticity, and connection.
“I wasn’t going to reschedule because talking about this with you helps me come back to my core values. It’s a reminder of what keeps me grounded.”
This highlights that values work isn’t about forced positivity—it’s about understanding our emotional responses and making space for them. When we know what makes us feel most like ourselves, we can gently integrate those elements into our lives, even during overwhelming moments.
Breaking Free from Conditioned Values
A major challenge in defining core values is distinguishing between what we genuinely believe and what we’ve been conditioned to accept. Colonialism, societal expectations, and generational conditioning can shape what we think we should value, making it difficult to discern what truly resonates.
Ask yourself:
Is this value truly mine or was it imposed on me?
What does this word mean to me, rather than how it’s traditionally defined?
How do my core values show up in my daily life?
As an immigrant, Coach Nane also spoke about straddling two worlds—her Venezuelan roots and her American reality. Navigating identity, belonging, and personal values within multiple cultures adds another layer of depth to this work.
“When you move places, you agree cosmically to be from both and from none. The work is in finding your authentic way of belonging in both worlds.”
Practical Steps to Start Defining Your Core Values
Feeling disconnected from your values? Try these practical steps:
Identify What Feels Good – Pay attention to what makes you feel "meh plus" (a little better than neutral). These moments offer clues to what brings you fulfillment.
Use the Emotion Sensation Wheel – Find words that resonate with your emotional experience. Language brings clarity.
Revisit Old Memories – Think of a time when you felt fully yourself. What words describe that moment?
Get Creative – If traditional words don’t feel right, create your own. Your values should reflect you, not a predefined list.
Allow Evolution – Your values will change. Be open to redefining them as you grow.
Final Thoughts: Your Life, Your Values
One of the biggest takeaways from this conversation with Coach Nane is that core values aren’t static or rigid—they are fluid and deeply personal. Whether you’re navigating cultural identity, societal expectations, or personal growth, defining and honoring your values is an act of self-reclamation.
“Values work is just a fancy way of saying: Know what makes you tick and do more of that.”
The more we understand our core values, the more intentional we can be in shaping lives that feel truly ours.
Connect with Coach Nane
Resonated with Coach Nane’s insights? Connect with her here:
📌 Website: www.coachnane.com
📌 Instagram: @coachnane
📌 TikTok: @coachnane
📌 Coaching Services: Sliding scale options available to make values-based coaching accessible to all.
Mention "a life differently” for 4 sessions at a discounted price of $150
💬 What are your core values? Have you struggled to define them?
Share your thoughts with us on Instagram @alifedifferently or through email (alifedifferently@gmail.com) to continue the conversation!
Hey there, I’m Ronni
I help people unlearn, heal, and step into a life that’s actually theirs. Around here, we question the rules, embrace the magic, and just see what happens.
When I’m not talking manifestation, you’ll find me lost in a new oracle deck, junk journaling, crocheting, or crafting miniatures for my dollhouse.